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Peak

Have you ever sat down and thought, "Who am I?"  That should be a clue that I am having a major identity crisis.  I am in my middle thirties.  Right smack in the middle. 35, treinta y cinco, vifendertig, trente-cinq, trettirem.  I thought the other day, "Does 35 sound better in a different language?"  I took Spanish for years and treinta y cinco is still 35.  The only cool thing about treinta is the r sound it makes in Spanish. My husband jokes that I am half way to 70, which is really not funny.

I'm not sure of how long I will live but life expectancy in America is around 78.  As I look into it more I am thankful I am not in central Africa where life expectancy is in the 40's. I would not have many more years ahead.  Then I look at the countries with longer life expectancy in the 80's and wonder what is going on in Germany, France, Australia, and Japan. Spain has a longer life expectancy too, maybe 35 does sound better in Spanish.

I feel like I am at the peak of the mountain in late spring.  Not Everest where is is always cold but high enough to be emerald green, with wild flowers and a gentle cool breeze.  I have survived the first part of my life, climbed the mountain.  I have learned a lot on this climb. Do you know the feeling when you get to the top of a mountain?  The climb isn't always easy but the view is worth it.  You are in awe of what you find at the top. I feel like the next step for me is huge. Something new and exciting is waiting for me but what and why do I feel like this is huge?

So let me rewind and try to answer the "who am I?" question.

Only child, wife, mother of three, over educated stay at home mom, love crafting, hate cleaning but love a clean home, love organizing, hate laundry, hate shopping but love finding deals, love gardens but I don't love being outside (flowers are my yin and outside is my yang you know the little dot), love food, hate cooking, like baking, love being at home, hate big parties, love social media, hate being social, hate testing, love learning, love photography, love personal finance, like to be hands that do the work and let someone else be the face, I desire flair; a greatness not of fame or glory but of precision and artistry.

Here is why all the self reflection. What do I love?  I love my family but they are a fleeting moment in which I want to enjoy. I have really no idea what I am passionate for in life. I know a few things. I have six years of college education and I don't have a passion for teaching. I like teaching and would teach if I needed to work. What could I do if I could do anything?  That is where I am at in life.  What is worth my time and energy?  What do I want to do for my next 30 years of my life?

I read articles on Mark Zuckerburg the youngest billionaire ever, how pillow pets made a women crazy rich, and Life is Good guys have made 100 million dollar off a tee shirt slogan.  Is is luck?  Timing? Passion?  What is it about these people that set them apart?  Is it anything?  My goal is not to be rich, but I would like to be successful in what I do.  I think there is a difference.  So right now I am at the top enjoying the view with so many possibilities.  It is all down hill from here.

Comments

Joy Thomas said…
from one mid thirties woman to another... you go girl!!! i'm of the mind set just to enjoy every single second God blesses me with! you have a great outlook on things and God has blessed you with so many talents and gifts! i enjoyed reading this... i can relate :)

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