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Crossroads

So much is happening in my life, yet I feel like nothing is getting done.  Ever feel like that?  You are so busy yet nothing seems to be completed.  I had big plans for the end of this year and here it is Sept. 15th and I don't have many of my goal items even started.

I am at a huge crossroad in my life.  One of going from stay at home mom to ______      that is the question.  What am I going to do next in this so called life?  I have been blessed to be a stay at home wife and mom for almost eight years now.  WOW, eight years!  I have been a mom for longer than I taught in the classroom.  I call it my second profession.  Teaching was my first profession, Motherhood second profession, and my third is in the balance.

I could very well go back to the classroom.  I know without a doubt that I would be a better teacher now that I have been on both sides of the teacher / parent relationship. We have always had the plan when the kids are all in school that I would go back to work.  At this point in my life it would be financially smartest decision to make.  Especially now we really want to pay the house off ASAP.

On the flip side is that I have not worked in eight years and we live a debt free life (other than the house) and we live a GOOD life.  I don't need to go back to work.  The best part about it is if I told Mark, "Hey, I just don't think me going back to work is best for our family." He would be totally okay with that, but I want to do something.  What is the question.

Then there is this pesky thing called public school in which my children attend.  I like our school and I value the school system to some extent.  I know first hand what a waste of time school can be and I see that my kids are falling in the cracks at times.  I am blessed to have two very good students.  I also am peeved that my kids get "punished" for the bad apples in the group.  I have struggled with the homeschooling issue for years.  Now more than ever since I have two in public school.  One which is rocking her teachers world.  Great stuff to have a kid that keep the teacher on her toes but I see her days filling up with fluffy stuff.  Anyway, I don't want to afford private school for three kids.  I don't want to give up my potential salary to homeschool because quite honest it would cost almost 3 times as much than private school to not bring in that salary.

So much is going on upstairs I am not sure how to figure it all out.  I can't wait forever on some matters.  I have to take the Praxis teaching test and a basic skills test in order to get certified here in this fine state of Alabama (a little sarcasm there).  The people are nicer here, but the standards for education seem to be less strict which in some areas is good, but I see too much fluff at times.  My hopes are once I get back into the school system that my kids schooling will change for the better.  Maybe I try to get a job at a private school?  I am not sure that I want to teach again, but I know that I went to school for 6 years and have two degrees in elementary education that at this point in my life teaching might be a means to my end.  (Which is to pay off the house ASAP.)

Well, writing about this has help sort things out in my mind.  I really do need prayer for the next year as I HATE taking tests and I have a lot of paper work to complete in the next six months.  I want it all done before June of next year.  My goal is to be certified to teach early spring so I can apply for jobs come July/August.

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