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?'s

Lots of questions going on upstairs. I have started four blogs this week not able to finish one. Everything in my life seems so random lately. Everything going on around me makes me ask more questions about this so called life. The kind of questions that are never answered.

The one that is the hardest is the death of a neighbors mother. This family is so family oriented and it shows. My neighbors 90 year old mother lived with her for years. She home schools her teen boys and cared for her elderly mom. These things she has done for many years. Selfless woman. I can't even begin to tell you how I admire her. She has no idea how much I respect her and her choices. Although her choices are not the choices we have made for our family, I admire her for the choices she has made for her family.

All that to say the lost she has had this week is devastating. To lose your mother even if she is 90 is hard. As an outsider looking in I think it is wonderful that her 90 year old mother got to die at home with the ones she loves not being bothered by nurses and doctors. I hope that I have done for her what a good neighbor should do. I am currently watching two cats while they are going to Jacksonville to place their grandmother, mother, friend beside her beloved. Please pray from this family they need a spiritual hug. The daughter is in her final week at college and has finals next week and her middle son has finals this week to finish high school.

The next big life question is that of my purpose or our purpose as a family in the area of a church home. I so miss my CC St. PETE! Religion is a funny thing. Notice I said religion. I know what I believe. Finding a place to call a church home is a tricky thing. I don't think this is something to taken lightly. On the flip side this is something that can be prolonged forever! I think we have found the place and at some point we have to get over some of the organized religious stuff because long term it doesn't matter.

My last crazy, have to get it out thing is no so easy to define. Lately I have been bombarded with in your face zealous people. I am not saying that being zealous is bad. I guess I am just looking at these things in my face and wondering are these people for real? Is this why we are put on earth? DOES IT REALLY EVEN MATTER? Maybe the answer to the last question is yes it does matter. Maybe the answer is no. Maybe being zealous about the wrong thing is better than not being zealous about anything?

Bottom line is that I am left with more questions than answers on the above and really not sure what it is that bothers me the most. The biggest ah ha I have had about this is that the internet has made our voice so different in so many ways. Being able to blog for anyone to read today is pretty amazing. With blogs, twitter, and Facebook alone I am amazed at the amount of information that one can get in seconds. I have learned more about some "friends" on FB this year that in all the years I hung out with some of them. Kinda CRAZY! And I have to admit Facebook scares the tar out of me somedays! I have a conspiracy theory in the works on FB.

Box of chocolates~ never know what you are gonna get...... Did someone say chocolate?

Comments

Stacie said…
That's deep. It's funny, I've had those same thoughts about the zealous thing. I've had some revelations :) I'm praying! Oh, & anxious to hear your FB conspiracy theory!
May 3, 2010 at 6:16 PM
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