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NaNoWriMo & Fear

Fear is not a new topic for me.  As I brainstormed for NaNoWriMo I found myself creating a main character (MC) around experiences of my life. With that comes somethings I am afraid to face. I start to think if I write this story and my mother reads it, what will she think?  How can I write a story throwing caution to the wind?  How would she feel about what I have written starts to cross my mind.

This story is going to be fiction but I have to draw on my experiences in life. I struggle with letting it all hang out. I want to write with total abandon without fear and angst. Time and time again I self edit before words even are written. I stray away from some topics because the reality of them might be too hard for me to write about.

I am learning that these are the things I have to get over and just write. It is hard to write with total abandon. I have yet to have a day where I just write and not self edit before the words are even typed. I have three kids that I want to read my book one day. What do I want them to read crosses my mind as I write.

I really don't have an answer to the total abandon of self when writing. It is something I struggle with every time I write. I know that in order for my writing to become better I have to write what it is I really want to say regardless of what others will think.  Mentally I know not everyone will love my story.  I have a few books I have read and not liked, even hated.

I can not candy coat this as a good thing. It is something you and I will face in November as you write you will have that little voice in your mind that tells you, "This story is awful!" or "Do you really want to go there?"  I think the self talk will effect your word count. I don't think those are writing blocks but writing barriers. You have the words but fear keeps you from typing or writing them down.

I think half the battle is knowing that this devil on your shoulder is present and a force to be reckoned with in November.  So what do we do?  I try to find encouraging words for writing.  Some are funny, some serious, but it helps me remember I have a story to tell.  I am going to link to my writing inspiration page on Pinterest.  I hope you find the words there encouraging.  I think one of my favorites is "Write like no one's reading."  That will get you to 50,000.

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